Some key thoughts as you interact with others.
(Maybe don’t do these.)
A few recent Brie Larson interviews have caught the attention of Marvel fans.
Yeah. Get over all my accident.
And you people have asked if the cast doesn’t get along with Brie. And even as an audience member, it’s tough to sit through some of these interviews without Cringing. So today I want to talk about what you can learn from these situations and how to prevent yourself from doing specific behavior patterns that can make people dislike you without you intending or even realizing it. And I want to make this clear. There are interviews that I can show you where Brie is. Extreme, extremely likable. You’re gonna see a few clips of them in this video.
I’m addressing these two more recent interviews because they’re topical and because they provide great insight into charisma mistakes that I see Mary people make. The first issue that you want to avoid is reading negative intent in an ambiguous situation. Breeze Wired interview has this repeatedly go to College?
No. Would Brie Larson work out like hypothetically?
At some point, is that like, a personal attack or something? Is that a request? Do you think I should? Yeah, I work out a lot. Thanks for asking.
We’ll come back to this idea of interpreting negative intent because it is possible that she wasn’t doing that at all and was actually aiming for sarcasm in these situations. The problem is that sarcasm requires a tell. You must go over the top either in your word choice, body language or tone, or people will not recognize sarcasm where you might have intended it without that, Breeze defensiveness appears sincere.
Lefthanded. What do you need to know? Can Captain Marvel beat Superman? I can’t believe you back to Google that stuff. I mean, why?
To be clear, you can add sarcasm to this type of a joke. For instance, Aubrey Plaza gives similar responses in her Wired interview, but people responded much better, and it’s because she’s communicating that she doesn’t mean what she says in this case by narrowing her eyes and changing her tone slightly.
Does Aubrey Plaza have a sister?
I have two sisters.
Oh, that’s none of your business. That’s my family.
Since it is so subtle, this level of sarcasm will be missed by Mary people. And I know that British people are going to hate this recommendation, but at least in America, a good rule of thumb is that when you are being tongue in cheek, do not be flat in your delivery, especially if a literal interpretation of what you’re saying it would make you sound like a jerk. Go over the top and changing your tone, your gestures or your facial expressions helps people distinguish between normal conversation and a character that you’re playing for the purpose of a joke.
This next clip is a great example of Brie playing like she’s upset while making it clear that that isn’t truly how she feels. She’s not really offended. Now watch for the change in her voice tone and her Overthetop gesticulating.
That’s the problem.
Well, I feel inferior, but it’s okay. Go for it.
Why would you feel inferior?
Well, look at it. First of all, and second of all, I have nothing on the right there. Look, you got a little the Greening of yourself.
There you go.
But back to the first point, it is possible that brief might be sincere in her frustration with these questions. Now, obviously we can’t read minds, but there is no absurdity, no smile to release the tension, just flat statements as if she is interpreting what she was being asked as an attack.
Is that like a personal attack or something?
Regardless of what was happening in Breeze Head in your own life, you would benefit tremendously from reading positive intent into ambiguous situations like these. In fact, even when people are undeniably, being rude to you, reading positive intent can be an excellent way to gain control of the situation. It’s part of what made Russell Brandt so admirable in his MSNBC interview from several years ago. That entire interaction deserves a breakdown on its own. But just watch here where the host takes aim at Russell’s accent. He could get flustered in response, but instead he assumes positive intent and cracks back a friendly joke.
But on satellite radio, in the car, I can’t understand a single joke or you can’t understand it.
Can you hear me?
Yes, but I’m telling when I’m driving in the car and everyone’s laughing in the audience of the radio, I’m like I have no idea what he said. He’s best you focused on your driving. You’re a man you don’t want to be distracted by humor might crashing into edition. That’s a good thing.
I think it’s probably for the best jokes like these that interpret positive intent can go a long way to winning the person over who is being rude to you, though it didn’t actually work in this particular situation. And if you like a breakdown of this entire interaction on just let us know in the comments. Just so you guys know, due to your overwhelming response, we are working now on a video that covers attachment theory. But moving along with this video to the third point, you should not jump on every opportunity to call praise or attention to yourself.
Now, in this next clip, Christ Hemsworth is talking up his stunt double, and he’s putting himself down to do it. This is a nice, common move for somebody who is kind of on top. And in this case, Hemsworth is clearly athletic and powerful and famous. So it’s kind of him to take that trainer and put him above him, even if it means denigrating himself to do it.
He just gets injured and I don’t. So he does all the hard stuff and makes me look cool. And then now I’ve told you this might be the cool, is it?
If you’re in a situation like this sitting next to someone who has just done this. It’s a great opportunity to further spread the praise. In this case, you might want to spread it to other stunt doubles, to the visual effects team for making the impossible appear real or just your castmates. In general, it is perhaps the worst opportunity to insist on your own specialness because it contrasts so starkly with Christ humility, and it also puts him on the defensive since he was putting himself down. And now we’re taking that seriously nationally.
That is the route that Brie went.
You don’t do. I do all my stuff.
I did my sons because I thought that that’s what everyone did again.
This is another situation where voice tone matters massively. If Brie had said something like, Wait a second. You guys got stunt doubles. I thought we were supposed to do all that crazy stuff by herself. People probably would have just laughed at that. But without anything over the top, without playing a character, she appears sincere in her attempt to call positive attention to herself, and it doesn’t play well. A now defensive Christ pokes her back, doubting that she does her own stunts, and he mentions Tom Cruise as a contrast.
I did my stunts because I thought that that’s what everyone did.
And again, rather than taking this opportunity to praise Tom Cruise’s legendary status in the industry as one of the A listers who truly does his own stunts and put himself on the line, Brie insists on distinguishing herself further.
No, I’ll be the first mean of the next Tom Cruise. Thank you very much.
Well, I mean, he does his his own stunts. No. Did we all do stunts? Yeah.
If you’re in a situation like this, the charismatic move, the confident move is to spray read the praise. Don’t worry so much. If you’re getting yours, when you give it freely, it comes back to you freely. Watch Christ Pratt illustrate this point perfectly. The Avengers cast are asked who the most charming Christ is. Look at how he handles it.
This is the most charming Christ. Why don’t you love yourself, man? Come on.
Because he’s home.
Oh, sorry. I’m sorry. I lost for a moment. No, I get it.
It is exactly his own willingness to raise somebody else up. That is what makes other people vote for him in droves.
She’s so happy about it.
He’s my one brother.
This all takes us to the fourth point of the video, which is you should not try to win each moment of banter. This makes it harder to feel comfortable joking with you because things always become competitive. Take as an example when Brie says that she’s the strongest character in the movie, which, though dry, could be considered a playful jab at her costars, Christ predictably jabs back, and the high pitched voice is an indication that he’s being playful, as are the extreme head moments, and eventually he gets a laugh from the people around.
Is there any competition between the different sex that different groups? There’s no competition for me because I’m the strongest. So it’s just kind of like a difference.
Oh, yeah. I should let her think that about this.
I’ve said before.
It’s not. It’s just a fact. It’s not a personal opinion. No, not a reflection on what you can’t do.
But it is also kind of a reflection on all the it’s just that Jesus just not that strong.
Now, with that laugh, Christ has, quote, unquote one this round of banter. But in order to let Bree say face, he adds that her character is really smart, really smart.
We have a thought.
Bree shakes her, had no fidgets with her earing. And then when Christ says that we should have a fight, she doesn’t interpret it positively or playfully, she seems to feel as if she is being laughed at. So rather than saying, oh, my God, we should totally have a fight in the next Avengers or making some other joke. She says that she feels like she’s been fighting with him all day. And you get the sense that she’s being honest.
Should we have a thought and she can eat?
I feel like we nobody fighting. I think it’s been all day.
I suspect that is a real representation of her feeling. She probably does feel like these exchange changes are fights, and that can be exhausting if you have ever felt like this. Here is a way out. Sometimes it is better to stop fighting. Don’t try to win every laugh from the audience. Instead, go with the joke. Even if it feels like you’re the butt of that joke and then amplify it by not taking this kind of insulting joke seriously, you defuse its power and you turn the crowd from laughing at you to laughing with you.
Here is Brie doing it in another interview with Craig Ferguson when he teases her name.
That’S a lovely name.
It’s not really. Are you named after his Chiefs? Yes, I am, really. I’m named after a cheese. I get confused all the time. I walk into rooms and people like, Ah, oh, we Ah. Now it’s gonna be a human. It’s gonna be a cheese.
And here’s another example of Christ taking one on the Chies. In in good spirit.
Is Christ Pratt the worst? Chris, I it should just be this.
It is bad.
The worst of kind of the worst.
This is all much easier if you interpret positive intent per the first point. So now the last thing that I want to touch on is how to handle a compliment. You should avoid responding to compliments with banter that are put downs in nature. Even if you’re joking like this.
You still going to attack.
It’s really nice. I’m still stronger than you, though.
Instead, you can give a sincere thank you. Emphasize, perhaps with sustained eye contact were a touch.
You’re tying with me.
I like your bailed efile way.
That’s very nice.
It’s like you’re a sort of commander of fabulous.
Alternatively, you can spin it back around to the other person and playfully find a way to give them back an even bigger compliment.
Well, I think you should take a lot of it. Thank you. And I have spoken to join and he said you should too. Jonathan. Yes.
Here you go. I love you in a credit. The only honorable in it to drain a half credit.
Okay, either way, whatever you do, do not punish people when they give you compliments. Otherwise, they will not be so forthcoming when and out. A sincere thank you and a smile or just a return to compliment will take you much farther. So I hope that you guys enjoyed this video. If you are a fan of the channel, you may want to check out our course. Charisma University. In my opinion, it is hands down. The best thing that I have ever created when it comes to developing your own Christ covers everything from making a great first impression to magnetic body language, deep confidence and, of course, doing it all consistently, which, as you saw in this video, doesn’t always come naturally to Mary of us.
So if you want to learn more, go ahead. Click the button on screen now or the link in the description. Either way, I hope that you enjoyed the video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.