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October 2026 EQ lesson by John Dye
Today, I taught our Elders Quorum lesson on Sister Tamara Runia’s message about trusting God through circumstances we cannot fix. Her words prompted a discussion about family burdens, grief, and allowing the Savior to shape us—even when we do not understand what is happening.
I began with Isaiah 64:8: “We are the clay, and thou our potter.” I loved the connection between that scripture and Sister Runia’s message. It reminded me that we are not simply trying to endure life’s challenges; we are also learning to place ourselves in the hands of a loving God who sees who and what we can become.
In this talk, Sister Runia described herself as a fixer, and I could relate. I shared that I am at a stage of life when my children and stepchildren face challenges while my mother deals with concerns of her own. I want to help everyone. Sometimes I want to straighten everything out. But I cannot control every circumstance or make decisions for the people I love.
One point I emphasized was that letting go does not mean we stop caring. We continue loving, serving, and praying. What we surrender is the belief that everything depends on our ability to fix it.
We watched the currant bush story from Elder Hugh B. Brown, which came to mind when I heard Sister Runia’s talk. The gardener cuts back the bush so it can eventually bear fruit. We discussed how that pruning can resemble disappointments in our own lives. One brother acknowledged being tired of getting pruned—a feeling many of us understand. Trusting the gardener does not make the cutting painless.
For me, one of the most powerful moments was Sister Runia’s account of her son Ryan’s sudden death, leaving his wife and four young children without a husband and father. Her words captured the heart of the lesson for me: “Not understanding is not the same as not believing.”
I invited the brethren to think about their own circumstances. We arrive at church dressed neatly, but each of us carries burdens others cannot see. Their comments reinforced how much we need empathy rather than assumptions about someone else’s life.
We also discussed our circle of influence. I cannot control my adult children’s choices, but I can control how I love them, pay attention, and respond. Calmness and compassion are meaningful actions, even when solutions of any kind remain beyond my reach.
We concluded with Sister Runia’s story about her brother learning to sculpt. Only after he invited his instructor’s help did the clay become what he could not create alone. The work was drastic and involved a lot of intervention, but it brought the sculpture to life.
I closed with my testimony of the refiner’s fire. I do not understand every difficulty in my life. But I believe that, as I rely on the Savior, He can help me grow through it. My task is not only to get through the experience, but to let Him help me become more like Him.
dyejo
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